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"I just got wonderful news from my real estate agent in Florida. They found land on my property. " ~~ Milton Berle

Filed Under: Humor, Milton Berle

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"Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives. " ~~ George Burns

Filed Under: George Burns, Humor, Marriage



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"If I could drop dead right now, I”d be the happiest man alive. " ~~ Samuel Goldwyn

Filed Under: Humor, Life, Samuel Goldwyn

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"My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. " ~~ Henry Youngman

Filed Under: Golden Years, Henry Youngman, Humor

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"Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking. " ~~ Albert Einstein

Filed Under: Albert Einstein, Books, Humor



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"Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint you can at it. " ~~ Danny Kaye

Filed Under: Danny Kaye, Humor, Life

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"The most aggravating thing about the younger generation is that I no longer belong to it. " ~~ Albert Einstein

Filed Under: Albert Einstein, Children, Humor

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"Men don’t care what’s on TV. They only care what else is on TV." ~~ Jerry Seinfeld

Filed Under: Humor, Jerry Seinfeld

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"As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. " ~~ Buddy Hackett

Filed Under: Buddy Hackett, Children, Food and Drink, Home and Family, Humor

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"Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness. " ~~ Woody Allen

Filed Under: Humor, Love, Woody Allen

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"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. " ~~ Groucho Marx

Filed Under: Groucho Marx, Humor

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"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible. " ~~ George Burns

Filed Under: George Burns, Humor

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