"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. " ~~ Mel Brooks
"We have to believe in free-will. We’ve got no choice. " ~~ Isaac Bashevis Singer
"If you want to catch trout, don’t fish in a herring barrel. " ~~ Ann Landers
"It’s always something. . ." ~~ Gilda Radner
"Remember-you can’t beam through a force field. So, don’t try it. " ~~ William Shatner
"A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to comprehend his cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it." ~~ Israel Zangwill
"As long as the world is turning and spinning, we’re gonna be dizzy and we’re gonna make mistakes. " ~~ Mel Brooks
"Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra." ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"It is impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a tune." ~~ Woody Allen
"How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put ‘page 2.’" ~~ Henny Youngman
"If at first you don’t succeed… So much for skydiving. " ~~ Henry Youngman
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