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"Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. " ~~ Groucho Marx

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Filed Under: Groucho Marx, Humor, Justice and Law, Music

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"The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. " ~~ Groucho Marx

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"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies. " ~~ Groucho Marx

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"I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception. " ~~ Groucho Marx

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"I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book. " ~~ Groucho Marx

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Filed Under: Books, Education, Groucho Marx, Humor, Television



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"Marriage is the chief cause of divorce." ~~ Groucho Marx

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"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot." ~~ Groucho Marx

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"A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five. " ~~ Groucho Marx

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"Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read." ~~ Groucho Marx

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"Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others." ~~ Groucho Marx

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"There is only one way to find out if a man is honest—ask him. If he says “yes,” you know he’s crooked." ~~ Groucho Marx

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"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. " ~~ Groucho Marx

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