"Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven’t been taxed before. " ~~ Art Buchwald
"Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television? " ~~ Art Buchwald
"There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. " ~~ Henry Kissinger
"A good man doesn’t just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like a doughnut." ~~ Roseanne Barr
"Middle age is when a man is warned to slow down by a doctor instead of a policeman." ~~ Sidney Brody
"If you want to give God a good laugh, tell Him your plans." ~~ Yiddish Proverb
"Television is a medium because it is neither rare nor well done. " ~~ Ernie Kovacs
"Marriage is the chief cause of divorce." ~~ Groucho Marx
"To me, if life boils down to one thing, it’s movement. To live is to keep moving. " ~~ Jerry Seinfeld
"I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them. " ~~ Phyllis Diller
"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot." ~~ Groucho Marx
"Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don’t recognize them. " ~~ Ann Landers
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