"Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives. " ~~ George Burns
"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible. " ~~ George Burns
"By the time you’re eighty years old you’ve learned everything. You only have to remember it. " ~~ George Burns
"People think all I have to do is stand up and tell a few jokes.Well, that’s not as easy as it looks. Every year it gets to be more of an effort to stand up. " ~~ George Burns
"You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old. " ~~ George Burns
"Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. " ~~ George Burns
"If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I”d still have to say it. " ~~ George Burns
"Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair. " ~~ George Burns
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. " ~~ George Burns
"I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate. " ~~ George Burns
"You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made. " ~~ George Burns