"We owe a lot to Thomas Edison — if it wasn’t for him, we”d be watching television by candlelight. " ~~ Milton Berle
"Poverty is not a disgrace, but it’s terribly inconvenient." ~~ Milton Berle
"I just got wonderful news from my real estate agent in Florida. They found land on my property. " ~~ Milton Berle
"Laughter is an instant vacation. " ~~ Milton Berle
"If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door. " ~~ Milton Berle
"Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies. " ~~ Milton Berle
"You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think." ~~ Milton Berle
"A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. " ~~ Milton Berle