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"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them." ~~ Rodney Dangerfield

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Filed Under: Humor, Parents, Rodney Dangerfield

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"I wouldn’t say I invented tacky, but I definitely brought it to its present high popularity. " ~~ Bette Midler

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Filed Under: Bette Midler, Humor, Women



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"A politician is someone who will double-cross that bridge when he comes to it." ~~ Oscar Levant

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Filed Under: Government, Humor, Oscar Levant

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"Vote for the man who promises the least; he”ll be the least disappointing. " ~~ Bernard Baruch

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Filed Under: Bernard Baruch, Government, Humor

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"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering – and it’s all over much too soon. " ~~ Woody Allen

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Filed Under: Humor, Life, Woody Allen



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"She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon. " ~~ Groucho Marx

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Filed Under: Groucho Marx, Health and Medicine, Humor, Women

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"Most often, the man who becomes leader is not the one that knows the way but the one who behaves as if he does. " ~~ Shim’oni

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Filed Under: Government, Humor, Leadership, Shim'oni

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"Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime. " ~~ Woody Allen

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Filed Under: Humor, Justice and Law, Woody Allen

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"Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. " ~~ George Burns

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Filed Under: Business and Money, George Burns, Golden Years, Humor

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"Life is just a bowl of pits. " ~~ Rodney Dangerfield

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Filed Under: Humor, Life, Rodney Dangerfield

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"Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz

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Filed Under: Fran Lebowitz, Humor, Science

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"I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back." ~~ Henny Youngman

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Filed Under: Henny Youngman, Humor, Marriage

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