"If A is success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut. " ~~ Albert Einstein
"Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. " ~~ Mel Brooks
"We have to believe in free-will. We’ve got no choice. " ~~ Isaac Bashevis Singer
"It’s always something. . ." ~~ Gilda Radner
"Remember-you can’t beam through a force field. So, don’t try it. " ~~ William Shatner
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"It is impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a tune." ~~ Woody Allen
"How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put ‘page 2.’" ~~ Henny Youngman
"If at first you don’t succeed… So much for skydiving. " ~~ Henry Youngman
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former. " ~~ Albert Einstein
"My grandfather always said, ‘Don’t watch your money; watch your health.’ So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather. " ~~ Jackie Mason
"If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I”d still have to say it. " ~~ George Burns
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