"Not the cardplayer pays the penalty but only the man who knows not how to play, yet does." ~~ Yiddish Proverb
"A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to comprehend his cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it." ~~ Israel Zangwill
"Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it." ~~ Adam Sandler
"Don’t carry a grudge. While you’re carrying the grudge the other guy’s out dancing. " ~~ Buddy Hackett
"It’s better to be known by six people for something you’re proud of than by 60 million for something you’re not." ~~ Albert Brooks
"I wouldn’t say I invented tacky, but I definitely brought it to its present high popularity. " ~~ Bette Midler
"If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor. " ~~ Albert Einstein
"I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them. " ~~ Phyllis Diller
"You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone." ~~ Phyllis Diller
"I just got wonderful news from my real estate agent in Florida. They found land on my property. " ~~ Milton Berle
"Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives. " ~~ George Burns
"If I could drop dead right now, I”d be the happiest man alive. " ~~ Samuel Goldwyn
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