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"If you want to catch trout, don’t fish in a herring barrel. " ~~ Ann Landers

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Filed Under: Ann Landers, Humor, Wisdom

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"It’s always something. . ." ~~ Gilda Radner

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Filed Under: Gilda Radner, Humor, Life



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"Remember-you can’t beam through a force field. So, don’t try it. " ~~ William Shatner

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Filed Under: Humor, Science, William Shatner

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"A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to comprehend his cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it." ~~ Israel Zangwill

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Filed Under: Humor, Israel Zangwill, Marriage

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"As long as the world is turning and spinning, we’re gonna be dizzy and we’re gonna make mistakes. " ~~ Mel Brooks

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Filed Under: Humor, Mel Brooks



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"Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra." ~~ Fran Lebowitz

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Filed Under: Education, Fran Lebowitz, Humor

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"Food is an important part of a balanced diet. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz

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Filed Under: Food and Drink, Fran Lebowitz, Health and Medicine, Humor

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"It is impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a tune." ~~ Woody Allen

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Filed Under: Death, Humor, Woody Allen

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"How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put ‘page 2.’" ~~ Henny Youngman

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"If at first you don’t succeed… So much for skydiving. " ~~ Henry Youngman

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Filed Under: Business and Money, Henry Youngman, Humor

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"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former. " ~~ Albert Einstein

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Filed Under: Albert Einstein, Humor, Science, Wisdom

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"My grandfather always said, ‘Don’t watch your money; watch your health.’ So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather. " ~~ Jackie Mason

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Filed Under: Business and Money, Health and Medicine, Humor, Jackie Mason

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