"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it. " ~~ Groucho Marx
"It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. " ~~ Rod Serling
"A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. " ~~ Milton Berle
"He who limps is still walking. " ~~ Joan Rivers
"You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it." ~~ Henny Youngman
"If you want to catch trout, don’t fish in a herring barrel. " ~~ Ann Landers
"Time wounds all heels. " ~~ Groucho Marx
"He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot. " ~~ Groucho Marx
"A good man doesn’t just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like a doughnut." ~~ Roseanne Barr
"Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven’t been taxed before. " ~~ Art Buchwald
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. " ~~ George Burns
"Vote for the man who promises the least; he”ll be the least disappointing. " ~~ Bernard Baruch
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