"To you I’m an atheist; to God, I’m the Loyal Opposition. " ~~ Woody Allen
"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. " ~~ Samuel Goldwyn
"Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. " ~~ Rod Serling
"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. " ~~ Henry Youngman
"Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read." ~~ Groucho Marx
"We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. " ~~ Albert Einstein
"Insanity is hereditary; you can get it from your children. " ~~ Sam Levenson
"I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I’ve done my job." ~~ Roseanne Barr
"Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"Live well. It is the greatest revenge." ~~ Traditional Proverb
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