"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. " ~~ Groucho Marx
"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. " ~~ Woody Allen
"Ask about your neighbors, then buy the house. " ~~ Traditional Proverb
"A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. " ~~ Samuel Goldwyn
"My doctor gave me six months to live but when I couldn’t pay his bill gave me six months more. " ~~ Walter Matthau
"Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television? " ~~ Art Buchwald
"It’s no longer a question of staying healthy. It’s a question of finding a sickness you like. " ~~ Jackie Mason
"You’ve got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I’ll bet he was glad to get rid of it. " ~~ Groucho Marx
"Humility is no substitute for a good personality. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"I must take issue with the term ‘a mere child,’ for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others." ~~ Groucho Marx
"I’ve never been an intellectual but I have this look. " ~~ Woody Allen
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