"What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expected generally happens. " ~~ Benjamin Disraeli
"Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking. " ~~ Albert Einstein
"The hardest thing in the world to understand, is income tax." ~~ Albert Einstein
"You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made. " ~~ George Burns
"For every woman who makes a fool out of a man, there is another woman who makes a man out of a fool." ~~ Samuel Hoffman
"Cleanliness and order are not matters of instinct; they are matters of education, and like most great things, you must cultivate a taste for them. " ~~ Benjamin Disraeli
"Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. " ~~ Groucho Marx
"The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you. " ~~ Bette Midler
"Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we’ll take up, and the more we’ll have to be reckoned with. " ~~ Roseanne Barr
"A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. " ~~ Phyllis Diller
"The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics. " ~~ Benjamin Disraeli
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