"As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it’s their fault. " ~~ Henry Kissinger
"A curse? You should have a lot of money, but you should be the only one in your family with it." ~~ Ernst Lubitsch
"I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. " ~~ Woody Allen
"There are really only three types of people: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who say, “What happened?” " ~~ Ann Landers
"Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you never know the ending." ~~ Neil Simon
"He who limps is still walking. " ~~ Joan Rivers
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. " ~~ Henry Youngman
"A Hospital is no place to be sick. " ~~ Samuel Goldwyn
"Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash. " ~~ Dr. Joyce Brothers
"I love living. I have some problems with my life, but living is the best thing they”ve come up with so far. " ~~ Neil Simon
"What you don’t see with your eyes, don’t invent with your mouth. " ~~ Traditional Proverb