"Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"The fixity of a habit is generally in direct proportion to its absurdity. " ~~ Marcel Proust
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former. " ~~ Albert Einstein
"Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won’t run." ~~ Phyllis Diller
"If A is success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut. " ~~ Albert Einstein
"A politician is someone who will double-cross that bridge when he comes to it." ~~ Oscar Levant
"The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it’s their fault. " ~~ Henry Kissinger
"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it. " ~~ Groucho Marx
"It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. " ~~ Rod Serling
"A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours. " ~~ Milton Berle
"He who limps is still walking. " ~~ Joan Rivers
"You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it." ~~ Henny Youngman
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