"The less you eat, the less sick you will be." ~~ Zabara
"I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either. " ~~ Jack Benny
"Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character. " ~~ Oscar Levant
"When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays. " ~~ Henry Youngman
"Jealousy rots the bones. " ~~ Proverbs (Mishle) 14:30
"A lot of wine is harmful but a little is good." ~~ Derekh Eretz R.
"Sickness of the spirit is worse than sickness of the flesh." ~~ Tsori Hayagon
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. " ~~ Henry Youngman
"It is more profitable for your Congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life. " ~~ Jackie Mason
"Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much. " ~~ Buddy Hackett
"It is forbidden to dwell in a town without a doctor." ~~ Talmud, Sanhedrin
"Great is repentance, for it brings healing to the world." ~~ Talmud, Berakhot
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