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"My favorite animal is steak. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz

Filed Under: Animals, Food and Drink, Fran Lebowitz, Humor

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"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering – and it’s all over much too soon. " ~~ Woody Allen

Filed Under: Humor, Life, Woody Allen



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"She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon. " ~~ Groucho Marx

Filed Under: Groucho Marx, Health and Medicine, Humor, Women

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"Most often, the man who becomes leader is not the one that knows the way but the one who behaves as if he does. " ~~ Shim’oni

Filed Under: Government, Humor, Leadership, Shim'oni

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"Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime. " ~~ Woody Allen

Filed Under: Humor, Justice and Law, Woody Allen



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"Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz

Filed Under: Fran Lebowitz, Humor, Science

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"I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking. " ~~ Joan Rivers

Filed Under: Humor, Joan Rivers

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"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. " ~~ Albert Einstein

Filed Under: Albert Einstein, Humor

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"Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won’t run." ~~ Phyllis Diller

Filed Under: Humor, Phyllis Diller, Women

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"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. " ~~ Woody Allen

Filed Under: Faith, Humor, Woody Allen

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"I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team. " ~~ Art Buchwald

Filed Under: Art Buchwald, Government, Humor

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"Comedy is very controlling – you are making people laugh. It is there in the phrase ‘making people laugh.’ You feel completely in control when you hear a wave of laughter coming back at you that you have caused. " ~~ Gilda Radner

Filed Under: Gilda Radner, Humor

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