"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. " ~~ Albert Einstein
"My favorite animal is steak. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering – and it’s all over much too soon. " ~~ Woody Allen
"She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon. " ~~ Groucho Marx
"Most often, the man who becomes leader is not the one that knows the way but the one who behaves as if he does. " ~~ Shim’oni
"Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime. " ~~ Woody Allen
"Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking. " ~~ Joan Rivers
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. " ~~ Albert Einstein
"Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won’t run." ~~ Phyllis Diller
"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. " ~~ Woody Allen
"I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team. " ~~ Art Buchwald