"Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money. " ~~ Jackie Mason
"Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"I’m Jewish. I don’t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor. " ~~ Joan Rivers
"Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves. " ~~ Albert Einstein
"To you I’m an atheist; to God, I’m the Loyal Opposition. " ~~ Woody Allen
"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. " ~~ Samuel Goldwyn
"Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. " ~~ Rod Serling
"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. " ~~ Henry Youngman
"Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read." ~~ Groucho Marx
"We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. " ~~ Albert Einstein
"Insanity is hereditary; you can get it from your children. " ~~ Sam Levenson
- « Previous Page
- 1
- …
- 15
- 16
- 17
- 18
- 19
- …
- 21
- Next Page »