"No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"I don’t think anyone should write their autobiography until after they’re dead. " ~~ Samuel Goldwyn
"Spare no expense to save money on this one. " ~~ Samuel Goldwyn
"There is only one way to find out if a man is honest—ask him. If he says “yes,” you know he’s crooked." ~~ Groucho Marx
"There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. " ~~ Oscar Levant
"We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today. I don’t think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great. If you’re hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time. " ~~ Art Buchwald
"I”ve had great success being a total idiot. " ~~ Jerry Lewis
"Make sure to be in with your equals if you’re going to fall out with your superiors." ~~ Traditional Proverb
"Let’s have some new cliches." ~~ Samuel Goldwyn
"Never go to bed mad – Stay up and fight. " ~~ Phyllis Diller
"The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more. " ~~ Woody Allen
"I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest." ~~ Rodney Dangerfield
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