Humor Archives - Page 8 of 21 - Jewish Quotations

"The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz

"I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch. " ~~ Gilda Radner

"What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. " ~~ Woody Allen

"The meaning of life is that it stops." ~~ Franz Kafka

"Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz

"Everybody likes a kidder but nobody loans him money. " ~~ Arthur Miller

"Sports is the toy department of human life. " ~~ Howard Cosell

"I’m astounded by people who want to ‘know’ the universe when it’s hard enough to find your way around Chinatown. " ~~ Woody Allen

"Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. " ~~ Groucho Marx

"My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. " ~~ Woody Allen

"Ask about your neighbors, then buy the house. " ~~ Traditional Proverb

"A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. " ~~ Samuel Goldwyn