"No man can consider himself truly married until he understands every word his wife is not saying." ~~ Lord Mancroft
"It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. " ~~ Rod Serling
"It’s better to be known by six people for something you’re proud of than by 60 million for something you’re not." ~~ Albert Brooks
"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. " ~~ Henry Youngman
"Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read." ~~ Groucho Marx
"We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. " ~~ Albert Einstein
"Insanity is hereditary; you can get it from your children. " ~~ Sam Levenson
"I figure if my kids are alive at the end of the day, I’ve done my job." ~~ Roseanne Barr
"Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"Live well. It is the greatest revenge." ~~ Traditional Proverb
"I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard." ~~ Phyllis Diller
"Eat a third and drink a third and leave the remaining third of your stomach empty. Then, when you get angry, there will be sufficient room for your rage. " ~~ Talmud, Gittin
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