"I’ve never been an intellectual but I have this look. " ~~ Woody Allen
"Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought — particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things. " ~~ Woody Allen
"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering – and it’s all over much too soon. " ~~ Woody Allen
"Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime. " ~~ Woody Allen
"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. " ~~ Woody Allen
"On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down. " ~~ Woody Allen
"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. " ~~ Woody Allen
"Why are our days numbered and not, say lettered? " ~~ Woody Allen
"Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness. " ~~ Woody Allen
"I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. " ~~ Woody Allen
"It is impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a tune." ~~ Woody Allen
"What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. " ~~ Woody Allen