"To you I’m an atheist; to God, I’m the Loyal Opposition. " ~~ Woody Allen
"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering – and it’s all over much too soon. " ~~ Woody Allen
"Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime. " ~~ Woody Allen
"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. " ~~ Woody Allen
"Why are our days numbered and not, say lettered? " ~~ Woody Allen
"Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness. " ~~ Woody Allen
"I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. " ~~ Woody Allen
"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me." ~~ Woody Allen