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"It is impossible to experience one’s death objectively and still carry a tune." ~~ Woody Allen

Filed Under: Death, Humor, Woody Allen

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"I can’t listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland." ~~ Woody Allen

Filed Under: History, Humor, Woody Allen



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"To you I’m an atheist; to God, I’m the Loyal Opposition. " ~~ Woody Allen

Filed Under: Faith, Humor, Woody Allen

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"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering – and it’s all over much too soon. " ~~ Woody Allen

Filed Under: Humor, Life, Woody Allen

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"Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime. " ~~ Woody Allen

Filed Under: Humor, Justice and Law, Woody Allen



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"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. " ~~ Woody Allen

Filed Under: Faith, Humor, Woody Allen

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"I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens. " ~~ Woody Allen

Filed Under: Death, Humor, Woody Allen

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"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me." ~~ Woody Allen

Filed Under: Education, Humor, Science, Woody Allen

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