"Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"Humility is no substitute for a good personality. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"I must take issue with the term ‘a mere child,’ for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"Food is an important part of a balanced diet. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"My favorite animal is steak. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz
"As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. " ~~ Fran Lebowitz